This Asian Chick: The ISJ Holiday Gift Guide for Her

Now that you have your own wish list completed, it’s the time of year again when everything you feel for your woman needs to be perfectly and succinctly expressed in a material way. Don’t worry! It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just going to either make or break your relationship and must be a reflection not only of how you feel about her, but about how your perceive her–her goals, desires, fears, and deepest secrets in her heart; not to mention how she feels about you, her family, her friends, her home, and her pet. Are you looking at the DVD of Crazy Rich Asians you bought for her and realizing it might not do the trick? You’re right, but definitely still give her that–she wants it for sure.



Sure, you could go the jewelry route, but… how would you describe her taste in jewelry? Her style? And if you get a ring, it’s definitely a promise of some type, but tennis bracelets seem so… mistress-y. (Unless she is your mistress- then definitely just get her a tennis bracelet, min of 1 CTW for every month you have been sneaking around together is the general rule.) Unless her BFF makes jewelry (she probably does), and can do your thinking for you, best to skip this one if you haven’t been together at least 3 years.

You’re thinking, hey Asian Chick, where does that leave me except with this CRA Blu-ray (does she even have a Blu-ray player? No? Buy her one. Sheesh.) and jewelry you now realize you have to give to your mom or secretary or mistress or your best friend’s girlfriend. Well, have you ever thought of experiences over things?

Pamper Her

How often does she say she’s too busy and needs a pedicure? Get her a gift certificate for a deluxe pedicure–she’ll love that. It says “I know you need to be pampered and since I never rub your feet even though you are on them all day and complain they hurt, I will, however, pay someone else to give your feet some attention for 45 minutes. Once.” That’s a message she will treasure. You can take this even further. Does she complain about shaving and dull razors? Get her a gift certificate for a Brazilian bikini wax! Look at you, solving problems right and left, selflessly. So selflessly.


Another idea is classes or lessons! Is there something she says she wants to learn to do? Make it part of a New Year’s Resolution she didn’t make yet! Like, salsa lessons you can do together. Or, better yet, pole dancing! It’s all the rage–her friends are probably doing it, for all you know. It’s fitness and girlish fun at the same time. Buy her a pack of classes and then never think of it again. You’ll have this Christmas gifting completely handled and will not put one thought towards her and her friends in tight sports bras and shorts pretending to be strippers and then giggling at how naughty they are. Not one thought.

Or better yet, she’s always watching those stupid cooking shows and saying she wishes she could cook like that? Get her cooking lessons! Totally for her–she doesn’t want you crowding her in the kitchen, “helping” anyway. Cooking lessons build upon each other, so get her a pack of at least 10. Every time she’s pulling a Top Chef move for you in the kitchen she’ll know just how much you love her. And her braised lamb raviolo with marjoram and red wine sauce served over white bean puree with charred leeks.

If you’re thinking “But opening a gift certificate under the tree is not very exciting, Asian Chick!” you’re right. These are not one-offs, though. You can shower her with a few–it’s probably best, because that way, you are leaving no stone unturned!


What’s her favorite color? You should know the exact shade of pink. Is it shell pink? If so, consider this lovely luxury she would think is too extravagant for herself. You, however, are her doting man and want her to have whatever her heart desires and it’s probably this:

pink robe

or this:


Or if she likes fuschia over shell pink, this:


Or is she more into purple?




Or black?


As you can see, there are so, so many options for your beloved lady, from bikini waxes to cooking lessons to lacy indulgences–you really can’t go wrong. At all.

Isn’t this so much easier and better than noticing her, remembering things she says she needs or wishes she had, or is really interested in? Yes! It totally is. You’re really gonna make an impact this Christmas, big fella!

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